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Psychology Today: Sex Ed - Can I get your Number?

Sex Ed: Can I Get Your Number?

REPOSTED FROM:  http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200910/sex-ed-can-i-get-your-number

Women are more likely to "just know," or to have a tally somewhere, a method psychologists call "notches on the bedpost." Women are also more likely to use enumeration ("Let's see, Dave, Tarik, that guy from the gym…"), which produces underestimates, since people forget instances.

Men are more likely to use rough approximation ("Jeez, I don't know, like maybe 50?") or rate-based estimates ("Let's see, one a month for the last five years…")—a method that produces overestimates.

But the gender discrepancy isn't just a matter of counting. The survey method also matters. Extremely sexually active women downgrade phone estimates compared to online. (Men don't.)

Another factor is undersampling prostitutes, who don't get included in surveys due to "lifestyle issues"—they're not in the phone book and they aren't often home during dinner hours.

Men who "accidentally" overhear a conversation espousing conservative norms ("I don't blame her for breaking up with you. Having girls on the side is so uncool!") report fewer partners than those who hear someone espousing permissive norms ("You're too young to be tied down. You should be seeing lots of people!"), says Terri Fisher, a psychologist at Ohio State University. Women who overhear such conversations are unaffected .

Men are also more likely to stretch their numbers when the researcher is female. But the joke's on them. According to research by Douglas Kenrick, a psychologist at Arizona State University, the more sexual partners a man has had, the less attractive he seems.

Blanket Statements

What's the average number of lifetime sexual partners of various groups?

Americans vs. Indians

10.7 • 3.0

poets vs. accountants

11 • 3

whites vs. blacks

7.7 • 8.3

High scores

Wilt Chamberlain claimed he'd had sex with 20,000 women. How do other celebrities' self-proclaimed numbers compare?

Charlie Sheen: 5,000

Gene Simmons: 4,600

Julio Iglesias: 3,000

Jack Nicholson: 2,000

Hugh Hefner: 1,000

Isaac Newton: 0

The Five Most Horrific Ways People Have Tried to Discourage Sex

About 95 percent of everything males have ever done has been with one goal in mind: to impress the ladies and hopefully get one of them to touch their wiener. But parallel to that runs an alternate universe of people whose entire goal is to stop themselves or others from having sex.

How far would they go? Horribly, disgustingly far. No, some of this is not for the faint of heart.

Male infibulation is the technical term for a procedure that basically wires your dick shut to prevent sex or masturbation. It was usually done by pulling the foreskin over the head of the penis and clamping it to the other side using a metal ring or stitches. Wait, was this something they did on purpose, or was it like a fraternity prank they pulled on passed-out dudes?

Who Did It (and What in God's Name was Wrong with Them)?

In Ancient Greece and Ancient Rome, the last thing a slave owner wanted was to have his slaves fornicating and masturbating when they could be out picking grapes or being killed by lions for entertainment. Thanks to infibulations their penises were rendered useless as it kept them from even thinking about sex since just getting a semi chub would have hurt like hell.

The practice branched beyond the slave trade towards the fine arts as well. Greeks and Romans enjoyed their live shows but hated big, floppy cock head. This was an issue since most public performances were done in the nude. The solution? Rather than something sensible like tiny hats or a fig leaf; musicians, athletes and comedians opted to do the least logical thing possible and infibulated themselves. Thus the head was obscured allowing for the modesty of these ancient cultures to not be tarnished as they made their way to the state-run orgy.

Then in the 1870s, masturbation became a popular scapegoat for most forms of physical and mental anguish such as insanity and epilepsy--which makes sense if you think about all the times you jerk yourself into a fit of seizures. A Welsh physician named David Yellowlees thought he would set up shop as a male infibulator in an effort to stop these masturbators.

While this sounds like almost as bad of a business venture as pets.com, Yellowlees actually found himself with a number of volunteers for the procedure. We're going to guess they were responding to some ads with very unclear wording.

A chastity belt is a harness that is made to fit around the waist, blocking access to the naughty parts, thus preventing sex. Kinda like wearing a Star Trek belt.

Who Did It (and What in God's Name was Wrong with Them)?

The chastity belt is by far the most romanticized and exaggerated of all the sexual suppressing devices, and romanticizing a rusty crotch locker is harder than you'd think.

They have often been portrayed as elegant devices voluntarily worn by a devoted if insatiably horny and untrustworthy wife waiting for her husband to return from the crusades. In reality they tend to look pretty horrifying.

Outside of a few rare cases, chastity belts were typically used as a measure of self-defense against medieval crotch warfare rather than as a means to subjugate women. The term "chastity belt" has been used since the Crusades in a metaphorical way to mean the chaste vows between a man and wife, but the literal metal cooch barrier is much rarer.

The first recorded usage of an actual chastity belt was in Florence in 1405 on what we assume was a slow news day.

The use of chastity belts to prevent consensual sex did not exist until the 1700s and lasted until about 1930. They were typically fitted on teen girls in order to keep them virgins until marriage. It was also handy to keep them from masturbating, which of course was a leading cause of infertility and demonic possession of the vulva.

The only other area that chastity belts have found a sex-preventative use was in England, in the 19th century, as a way to avoid sexual harassment in the workplace. From this we can assume that 150 years ago, men were a lot more direct with their sexual harassment, apparently opting to forgo a "your tits look great in that sweater" morning greeting for some surprise coitus by the water cooler.

History teaches us that virgins are valuable, if for no other reason than angry volcano gods all seem to find them delicious.

The perceived benefits to a prospective husband would lead to larger dowries and the chance to marry a wealthier man. Hell, the British Royal Family blatantly came out and said that the "virginal status" of Diana Spencer was a huge factor in their selection of her to marry Prince Charles. But all of this amounts to nothing if we have fake virgins running about all willy nilly. Someone needed to devise a test to make sure.

Who Did It (and What in God's Name was Wrong with Them)?

The basic virginity test was proof of a hymen. Old timey people used to prove a bride's status as a virgin by displaying the bloodied wedding sheets the day after the marriage (though that also seems like it could be the sign of a chastity belt penis mauling). Yes, nothing shows your husband that you love him more than flying your hymen sheets at his in-laws house for a few weeks.

Another type of virginity test used in some parts of Africa involved a group of women deemed "virginity testers," who would examine girls of marital age and determine if they were virginal or not. Brides-to-be that were declared certified, grade A virgins were not only worth the extra dowry, but came with the bonus knowledge that they'd been groped by a group of creepy old ladies. Sometimes the exam consisted of a search for a hymen, sort of a vaginated Where's Waldo, but other times it would be determined by the sound of the woman's urine stream, as it's well known that brazen hussies have very splashy pee.

Speaking of urine, another type of virginity test was put forth in Pliny the Elder's History of the World, in which he claimed to have invented a virgin potion. All a woman had to do was drink it and then not whiz. He believed that the more sex a woman had, the shorter amount of time she could hold her pee. Remember this next time you are at the bar and see a girl going to the restroom every 10 minutes.

#2 Publicly Outing Virgins and Sinners

When wanting to either stop someone from engaging in a shameful activity, or encourage "correct" behavior, an effective method is public acknowledgment and/or humiliation. Shame motivates almost as well as the promise of free tacos. Imagine if you had to always wear a shirt that displayed on it a tic-mark for every time you have masturbated; you'd either stop masturbating or, more likely, just never go outside again. At least not without a team of guys to help you drag around a shirt the size of one of those advertising banners they tie to airplanes.

Who Did It (and What in God's Name was Wrong with Them)?

The Scarlet Letter, though fictional, does detail the real Puritanical practice of sewing an "A" on the breast of women that fornicated outside of wedlock or, as the Puritans called it, "fucking like badgers. Outside of wedlock." In fact, this punishment became law in Puritan society in 1694 as a measure of leniency, since the punishment up to that point was either public whipping or death.

These days, where massive public shame is slightly less tolerated, abstinence rings have taken over as the unnecessarily and voluntary public method of displaying one's sexual predilections, narrowly beating out Abercrombie and Fitch's "I enjoy fisting" shirts. Generally worn on the ring finger in place of a wedding ring, abstinence rings let the world know you plan on humping absolutely no one until you're married. The world, in turn, continues to not give a shit.

While this appears fairly innocuous at first, it seems obvious that the goal is to make wearing of the rings so universal that not displaying one becomes the scarlet letter of slutdom.

It also seems rather questionable that you have teenagers publicly broadcasting the status of their respective dongs and vaginas when the only people apt to care are the sort that you probably don't want knowing about your teen's sex life.

When all else fails, remove the testicles. And not in a metaphorical Guy Ritchie-way. Like literally taking the balls off. Which may have actually happened to Guy Ritchie, come to think of it.

Who Did It (and What in God's Name was Wrong with Them)?

Sometimes monks did it voluntarily to stay celibate, sometimes it was done as punishment for crimes and sometimes it was done over the course of an entire day with knives and pliers to torture dudes who really pissed someone off. However, when wanting to read the most metal story about castration you need to look no farther than Boston Corbett.

Boston Corbett was a hatter in the 1850s. After becoming a born-again Christian, Corbett felt conflicted about his past life which included a deep rooted love of whores. Moving away from a major city, exercising will-power and vigorous fapping were all ideas that never occurred to Corbett, who decided the solution was to remove his own balls. With scissors.

After giving the twins the closest shave ever, Corbett did what any batshit crazy and newly balless man would do and headed out to prayer group, perhaps to send his nuts off to the great beyond with a kind word. Then, since self-castration works up an appetite, he had dinner. Then he took a walk to enjoy the breeze on his gaping crotch hole. By now it had been a few hours since the castration and it finally struck Corbett that maybe he should have a doctor take a look at the massive scissor wound that now existed where his scrotum used to connect to his body. We assume the session consisted of the long silences interrupted by the doctor shaking his head and saying, "Dude... " every five minutes or so.

Corbett went on to join the Union army as soon as the Civil War started and re-enlist three times as the Milky Way in an army full of Snickers. Eventually, he became a part of the squad assigned to find John Wilkes Booth and was the one to put a bullet in his spine, ending the life of Lincoln's assassin.

You know, it's not easy for us to say this, but it totally looks like it was his balls that were holding him back.

FDA Recommends HPV Vaccine for Boys

Yesterday, a FDA panel recommended that the agency approve Gardasil - the HPV vaccine - for use in young men and boys. Something tells me that despite the vaccine being recommended for use in boys as young as 9 years old, no conservative organizations are going to bemoaning boys' "lost innocence" or worrying about them becoming big whores.

Related: Quick Hit: The HPV vaccine for boys?
Good news on HPV vaccine?
How safe is the HPV vaccine?
Hit me with your best (HPV) shot

Foods that Boost Sexual Performance

FROM:  http://www.elle.com/Beauty/Health-Fitness/Foods-That-Boost-Sexual-Performance

Foods That Boost Sexual Performance

Top 10 grocery store items for improving couple's libidos

By Rachel Grumman | August 26, 2009 10:00 a.m.

Spanish fly. Rhinoceros horn. Phallic-looking foods. Throughout history, people have gone to a lot of trouble—not to mention putting their health in danger, in some cases—trying to find libido boosters to improve their sex lives. Today pleasure seekers have it easier because, as it turns out, the grocery store is the perfect place to find natural aphrodisiacs. Bonus: In addition to making sex a little steamier, nearly all these foods have health benefits beyond the bedroom.

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1.Chocolate
This dark, delicious dessert has long been associated with indulgence, but that’s not the only reason chocolate puts you and your guy in a sensual mood. The treat contains caffeine, which helps perk you up and also boosts serotonin and dopamine, neurotransmitters that contribute to feelings of well-being and happiness, according to Kerry Neville, a registered dietitian and spokeswoman for the American Dietetic Association.

“Chocolate brings on feelings of euphoria—like in the movie Chocolat,” says Jennifer Berman, MD, a urologist and director of female urology and sexual medicine at the Rodeo Drive Women's Health Center in Beverly Hills, Calif. “It’s a psycho-stimulant so it has an arousal effect.” That’s because chocolate contains phenylethylamine, a chemical with an amphetamine-like affect that temporarily mimics feelings of falling in love. In fact, a 2007 British study found that letting chocolate melt in your mouth is more stimulating and raised heart rates more than kissing. Chocolate, particularly dark chocolate, is also loaded with antioxidants that improve circulation and lower cholesterol. Photo: iStockphoto

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2. Pumpkin Pie
The next time you want to seduce a guy, bake a pumpkin pie. A study that measured blood flow south of the border in men ages 18 to 64 found that the scent of pumpkin pie rated the highest response—a 40 percent increase to be exact, according to Alan R. Hirsch, MD, neurological director of the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago and author of Scentsational Sex. Lavender rated equally high, while close runners-up included donuts and black licorice, which boosted blood flow to men’s nether regions by more than 31 percent. As surprising as it may seem, when it comes to sex, scent offers a greater libido lift than ingestion: “Ninety percent of what people call taste is actually smell,” notes Hirsch. “The scent of these foods may reduce anxiety, which helps remove inhibitions.” Photo: iStockphoto

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3. Good & Plenty Candy
You probably won’t look at the candy counter at the movies the same way after reading this: Smelling Good & Plenty, the popular licorice-flavored candy, caused a 13 percent increase in vaginal blood flow, according to research conducted by Hirsch. Why? He points out that the scent may trigger olfactory nostalgia, such as positive memories from childhood as well as feelings of security and safety—a state of mind that helps make sex more relaxing and enjoyable. Oddly enough, the smell of cherries had the opposite effect on women, causing an 18 percent reduction of vaginal blood flow (in other words, a real turn-off). Photo: Courtesy of Amazon.com

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4. Oatmeal
You may not have heard of L-arginine, but this common amino acid is a precursor to nitric oxide, a substance that "enhances the arousal response,” says Berman. Good food sources of L-arginine include oatmeal and granola as well as nuts, seeds, dairy, and seafood. So the next time you’re on a date at a romantic restaurant, suggest the pasta with pine nuts or salmon—sexy, mutually beneficial menu options such as these will ensure your evening ends on a high note! Photo: iStockphoto

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5. Oysters
“It’s a sensual experience to eat oysters,” says Berman, but these delicacies from the sea are aphrodisiacs for another reason too. According to Neville, oysters are bursting with zinc, a mineral used in the production of testosterone (and sperm), which plays a role in fueling the sex drive of both men and women. American and Italian chemists who looked at oysters, mussels and clams found the shellfish were packed with rare amino acids that triggered increased levels of sex hormones in animals. What’s more, oysters contain taurine, an amino acid with a caffeine-like effect (it’s used in Red Bull) for alertness and physical endurance. Photo: iStockphoto

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6. Fish
It may sound a bit fishy and not so sexy, but foods rich in omega-3 fatty acids such as mackerel, wild salmon, halibut, and sardines as well as flaxseed, nuts and oils (think olive and soybean) can take your sex life from lukewarm to hot. Here’s how: Essential fatty acids are the building blocks of sex hormones in men and women and help fight the buildup of plaque in the arteries, thereby improving circulation and increasing sensation. “Omega-3 fatty acids help with sexual response, by helping to raise dopamine levels in the brain that trigger arousal,” says Yvonne Fulbright, PhD, a sexologist and author of Pleasuring: The Secrets of Sexual Satisfaction. Adds Berman, “They’re important for energy, memory, mood, and libido.” Not a fan of fish? Try taking 1,000 milligrams (or 1 gram) of fish oil supplements daily and be sure the supplement includes the omega-3 fatty acids eicosapentaenoic acid (EPA) and docosahexaenoic acid (DHA). Photo: iStockphoto

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7. Avocados
The deep green fruit contains vitamin B6, which helps produce serotonin, the feel-good hormone, says Neville. Another bonus for you and your partner: Avocados are also loaded with vitamin E, which enhances circulation and is believed to stimulate the production of passion-stimulating testosterone. Research published in the journal Archives of Andrology showed that vitamin E helps improve semen quality and motility. Photo: iStockphoto

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8. Garlic
Although you’d think garlic would ruin, rather than improve, your love-making sessions, it turns out that it contains allicin, an ingredient that increases circulation, including down south, which "helps improve sensation,” says Fulbright. The action of finely chopping garlic releases allicin, so be sure to crush the garlic first and then add it to pasta sauce or garlic bread. The key to not getting knocked out by garlic breath? Level the playing field by eating a garlic-heavy meal with the object of your affection.Photo: iStockphoto

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9. Seeds and Nuts
Like oysters, pumpkin seeds and pine nuts are rich in zinc, which help the body produce testosterone—and, in your man’s case, sperm. Added attraction: Nuts, including almonds, are also good sources of the aforementioned omega-3 fatty acids, which help prevent plaque accumulation in the arteries and improve blood flow throughout the body (including to the genitals). What’s more, nuts and seeds are powerhouse foods, full of protein and healthy fats, which give you a boost of energy both in and out of the bedroom. Photo: iStockphoto

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10. Mint
Popping a mint before kissing your partner is not only courteous, it’s also a turn-on. Hirsch surveyed both married couples as well as single men and women about what they wanted kisses to taste like in a mate or a date. The overall conclusion: The scent of mint makes people makeout-worthy. But while married people and single women wanted their men to taste “fresh, clean, and minty, like toothpaste,” says Hirsch, single men preferred women to taste like alcohol. Photo: iStockphoto

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If you're interested in "Sexy Food," you should read Crumpacker's The Sex Life of Food.  I've assigned this to my sexuality classes.  They enjoyed it.

http://www.amazon.com/Sex-Life-Food-When-Body/dp/0312342071

History of Sexuality in Film

See http://www.filmsite.org/sexinfilms.html for a very comprehensive overview and discussion of sexuality in film (from the 1920s to the present). 

Here are my five favorite recent films dealing with issues of sexuality.  I may not always agree with their premise or argument, but I think they have all been really thought-provoking.

HARD CANDY

CHASING AMY

SHORTBUS

TEETH

THE CONTENDER

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Honorable Mention:  True Blood (HBO) seems to make some interesting parallels between vampirism and sexual rights (there has historically been a connection between discourses on vampires and sexuality, so this isn't that surprising).

Dr. Elders' Advice to Surgeon General Nominee

Dr. Joycelyn Elders served as the first African-American U.S. surgeon general during the Clinton administration. At a 1994 United Nations conference on AIDS, she was asked about promoting masturbation to prevent young people from engaging in riskier sexual activity. "I think that it is part of human sexuality," Elders replied, "And perhaps it should be taught." She was forced to resign. Elders, 75, continues to address sexual health and education on the lecture circuit. ESSENCE.COM talked to the retired professor about her advice for President Obama's nominee for surgeon general and the battle over health care reform.

See the rest of the article at http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/worklife/07/30/what.matters.joycelyn.elders/in...

Originally published at Essence.com